I happened to be talking with an elderly friend (age 79) of mine just yesterday. She spoke of moving to a 55+ community as she had taken a few falls lately and needed to leave her home with ‘all those stairs’. She has lived in her community all her life, yet her children want her closer to them, some 50 miles away. Away from her friends, her doctors, her weekly card playing and favorite supper club. She shrugged her shoulders, ‘It’s not my decision’. My heart sank.
I am an adult child and family caregiver who stood 24 hour vigil with my parents for 2 years so they could stay in their own home. Never did it cross my mind to ask my parents to accommodate my needs/wants.
There are many options available to seniors that will enable them to live the way they want to live. The signs are there. Care is needed. It’s your Mom and/or Dad. It’s personal. To them, first.
Opening the discussion is the most difficult, but necessary first step. They will tell you they are fine – they don’t need help. They will tell you they don’t want to be a burden. Consider care a ‘gift’ you give them in whatever form they desire.